ThE Recent me .

YOu know what ? life is hectic and quite suffering ( note: i didnt have the intention to suicide though.) I am saying this is not because to make my self a sentimental boy or personality . In chinese's idioms , there is a idiom where it describe a person purposely express the depression just to write a passage or maybe poem , in fact , that person isnt that depressed . I've been come to the stage where lots of things until i cant really write it out . That's why my blog has not being updated for weeks or months ? Now , i am writing this just to update you all , my friends . Junhong is still alive with passion . 

Exams is just around the corner . As what you all know , i failed in sociology paper . That caused my family worry and they restrict almost everything what i want . In one way , i appreciate them and in another way , i dislike the way they all treat me . Please , im am sufisticated and i cant breath anymore ! I have friends , and i finally find the friends who i can share & care for whatever i've gone through . Gosh ...seriously , my emotion is unbalance now. My family can be tell literally , they all care about me. In another way , they care more on what they want on me . 

Internal Security Act ? ISA ? My family is possibly think that what i've done will affect my family's security . Im understandbly in a home curfew order ,I can only whether be in the house , follow wherever they goes , or maybe the pool . My temple's activities is like listed as a prohibited activities even if they dont tell that frankly . Somehow , they'll have something to say and block me . Oh my gosh ! Pity Me ! YES ! With no doubt , it will be far more comfort compare to anywhere . But , thats not what i want ! Junhong is goinng for revolution ? Asking for law reform ! ? Well ...No, it is however my dad is the head of my family . A 100%  Patriachal family . WHat my dad's said will usually an ORDER . 

I am just so unsataisfied with this rule . It might sounds crazy , is this have anythings to do with my situation ? Indirectly , i cannot have much communication with my friends . I can only have communication with lecturer , classmates , and family's members . Well, it is all affected my indirectly . There is a conflict in the deeply side of me , in one way , i am grateful that i have they as my parent . Indeed , very grateful.I know what they have done is for my OWN GOOD ....Ermm..do you find this familiar ? like you had heard of it somewhere ? Well , thats a singapore movie ,  "Im not stupid"...FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. In another way , my activist cells is like gonna burst from my body .  It is just so unfair to have those rules which is without any reason or any unacceptable reason. It is sad that we dont have any court to appeal on ( In my family) . I am now on Home Detention Order maybe thats another better word rather than using ISA . 

Yes , exam is coming. i decided to retake law again as well to improve its grade. I used to hate English legal system very much but now , it is like totally different . Im getting much more interested in English Legal System . It might seems boring , but , it would not be that dull after you get to understand it or get the full picture of it. For sociology , it is still difficult . I am trying my best and do whatever i could . I think i did improved , at least 1% . Hopefully i'll get a better grade this time. Besides , i register myself for Chinese subject . It is a long time that i dont write any essays in chinese . hOwever , i dont think i can ever fail this subject . ( Yea , it is without any lecturer , self study subject .)

Tell you wHat ! ( I gained weight ! ) From 55kg till now 61kg . What a massive change on me ! Well , oh my God !  Why boy cares about theirs weight ! Haha ...my whole family is laughing at me for my changes . The fact is , i am not as skinny as before . I can now wear singlet which last time i dont dare to wear for my Bone-y body . I am getting darker as well compared to last time since i go to swim regularly at least once a week in the afternoon . I dont even notice myself is actually getting darker until when i stand with my little brother . Wow , it makes a clear distinction . My brother used to be labelled as a DARKIE and now i am darker than him ? Haha ... who cares ? I dont at least . I mean not much . Seroiusly , i dont think i am that fat as what my family expressed to me . Maybe more healthier ????  

Oh yeah , when i talk about healthy . I must mention one thing , which is i got hiGH blood pressure ! 19 years old boy and now got high blood pressure . You can imagine how stressful i am . Oh , i am having headache now . Thats the effect of having high blood pressure . Psychologically and physically , i am not stable . I know , whatever happened , i still have to continue with my journey . I still have a long way to go . I wont defeated by these issues , no , It is that i cant . Swimming is of course one way to improve these problems . I likes swimming since i feel so relieve and comfort in water . In another , it is a prevention from getting fatter and fatter . I must also adjust my time , the time i got to bed  must be early . No more burning oil in the midnight . Yes , one thing eventually affect another to change and its changed and changing . Thats the world in the human ( the social animal) , inevitable and nothing actually last long .